Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Laugh a little more...

In English Please:

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "


"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."


"What? Because he's cross-eyed?


“No, because he's really heavy".

---
He does not possess Wealth, it possesses him B.F 1734

Life’s worth living I’ve been told, wake up at 5 in the bitter cold, there is happiness in things people sometimes say, they probably don’t have to work till late in the day.
There is joy sometimes I was told believe, these people must have it hard to conceive that all I am doing is slog and a being miser, but too what end I work, they none the wiser.
I am a street sweeper , who paves the way , for no ordinary man would think of me that way, I am hardly noticed as people walk round , I pick up the butts, your paper without much sound. Never you see a street so shiny and bright, and never you wonder why I am still sweeping at night. I see you shuffle and move so fast, you rush for what I often ask.
Never a smile on your morning’s face, never a hop in your evening’s pace. I am not sad or lacking joy, my street is clean; I am content as a boy. Ricky Saunders 2007.

--


According to research at an English university, it doesn't matter in what order the letters
in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last letter is at the right place.
The rest can be a total mess and you can still read it without problem.
This is because we do not read every letter by it self but the word as a whole.


--
In Gobbledygook please:


A man taeks his Rttoiewelr to the vet. My dog's crso-syeed, is trehe antyhnig you can do for him? "


"Wlel," syas the vet, "let's hvae a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examenis his eyes, tehn chceks his tteeh.
Fnillay, he syas "I'm gonig to have to put him dwon."


"Waht? Baceuse he's corssye-ed?


"No, bceuase he's rlaely hevay".

---
He deos not pssoess Wlaeth, it psosesses him B.F 1734

Lfie's worth lvinig I've been tlod, wkae up at 5 in the btiter clod, three is haippsens in things poelpe smoeitems say, they pborbaly don't hvae to work tlil ltae in the day.
Tehre is joy smoitemes I was tlod bleeive, these ppoele msut hvae it hrad to ccnoieve that all I am dniog is solg and a bnieg miser, but too waht end I work, tehy nnoe the wiesr.
I am a srteet seewper , who pvaes the way , for no oidrnray man wuold tnihk of me that way, I am hradly ntocied as ppoele wlak ronud , I pcik up the btuts, yuor pepar wihtuot mcuh suond. Nveer you see a street so shniy and bgirht, and neevr you wdnoer why I am sitll sewipeng at nihgt. I see you shulffe and mvoe so fast, you rsuh for waht I otfen ask.
Never a slime on your mnronig's fcae, never a hop in yuor enevnig's pcae. I am not sad or lcaikng joy, my steert is celan; I am cnotnet as a boy. Ricky Snuareds 2007.

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