In English please:
We at one time or another have to face bureaucracy, some of us have to face it once in awhile and sometime we are faced with it every day.
What is bureaucracy?
Bureaucracy - 1. Frustrating rules: complex rules and regulations applied rigidly.
2. Administrative system: an administrative system, especially in a government, that divides work into specific categories carried out by special departments of no elected officials. ® Ms Encarta Dictionary.
I like definition number one as it defines truly the system of Government we have today.
What is the solution to bureaucracy?
I know of a fail proof system that first was shared to me by my good mate Tim.
He said: “there is one way to get things done with bureaucrats , if you use this system you will always win and it’s very simple; All you have to do is have the papers they want, that’s the only solution that always work.”
Simple. If they want paper A, you give them paper A, if they want Paper A, B and C, then give them A, B and C and you will be all right.
Now some might think that they win if you do that. Well that is not the case;
No amount of arguing and reason works, no amount of pleading and begging,
The moment you try to reason or get upset, they switch off completely and go into customer service mode which is precise.
“I understand” = your chances for your application to be approved is Zero and
“I’ll check with my supervisor” = your chances for your application to be approved is now a definite Zero.
There is only one thing that works and that is: give them what they want, papers. They don’t want excuses, reasons or anything else, just papers filled in and signed.
Here are the top ten traits of a bureaucrats.
1. A real Bureaucrat never gets personal.
2. A true bureaucrat will never look at you, only at the papers you hand him.
3. A true bureaucrat hate to call you by name, you will only be referred to by number.
4. A real bureaucrat has a duty to refer you to another department or section.
5. If by chance you happen to be sitting or stand in front of a real bureaucrat, you would have needed to pass at least 5 others – there is no direct ticket to a real bureaucrat – ever!
6. A true bureaucrat have only 2 important things on his desk. 1 are forms and the other is a stamp.
7. The higher the bureaucrat in rank the less chance of ever being put through to them on the phone.
8. A bureaucrat that talks to you on any subject other than what you are there for is still on probation.
9. A bureaucrat that laughs with you, started that week or is a Temp.
10. An ultimate bureaucrat is someone you never will meet or speak to, but will sign all your letters.
---
“Strange, that he who lives by Shifts, can seldom shift himself.” B.F 1735
“Using policy and procedure to stop things from getting done or to stop people”
© Ricky Saunders definition of bureaucracy. 2007
---
According to research at an english university, it doesn't matter in what order the letters
in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last letter is at the right place.
The rest can be a total mess and you can still read it without problem.
This is because we do not read every letter by it self but the word as a whole.
In Gobbledygook Please:
The Art of baecarucary.
We at one tmie or aonehtr hvae to face beruaarcacy, smoe of us hvae to fcae it ocne in awlihe and semomite we are fcaed with it erevy day.
Waht is buaercarcay?
Buaeararccy - 1. Furrtsanitg ruels: cpmoelx relus and realugtoins apilped rigildy
2. Admnisirtavite ssytem: an animdrtsiitave stsyem, ecepsllaiy in a gvoenremnt, that divides wrok into sicepifc cetairoges craired out by sicepal dapetrnemts of no eeltced offilaics. ® Ms Ecntraa Dicitanory
I like dfeiitinon nbmuer one as it dnifees trluy the setsym of Gorevnemnt we hvae today.
What is the soitulon to beuacararcy?
I konw of a fial porof setsym taht first was srahed to me by my good mtae Tim.
He sdia: "trehe is one way to get tihngs dnoe wtih baecaruarts , if you use this ssyetm you wlil aawlys win and it's vrey slpmie; All you hvae to do is have the ppares tehy wnat, taht's the olny sotuloin taht alawys wrok."
Spmile. If they wnat pepar A, you gvie tehm ppaer A, if tehy wnat Ppaer A, B and C, tehn gvie tehm A, B and C and you wlil be all right.
Now smoe might tnihk taht tehy win if you do taht. Wlel that is not the caes;
No amnuot of agriung and reosan wkros, no auomnt of plidaeng and bggenig,
The mmonet you try to rosaen or get uespt, tehy swctih off clpmoteley and go itno csumoter sreivce mdoe wcihh is picerse
"I unsredtnad" = your chnaecs for your ailpptacion to be aorppevd is Zreo and
"I'll chcek with my spuvreiosr" = yuor ccnahes for yuor appaciliton to be appevord is now a dnifetie Zero.
Trehe is olny one tnihg taht wkros and taht is: gvie them what tehy wnat, ppaers. Tehy don't wnat eucxses, raenoss or ahtyning esle, jsut papres flield in and sgined.
Here are the top ten tartis of a beruaarcats.
1. A rael Buaercartas never get pesranol.
2. A ture buaercatars wlil never look at you, olny at the prepas you hnad him.
3. A ture bearucaarts htae to call you by nmae, you will olny be rereferd to by nmuber.
4. A real beaaruarcts has to refer you to antoehr dapeemtrnt or sceiton.
5. If by chcnae you hppaen to be sttinig or stnad in fornt of a rael bruaearcat, you wuold hvae neeedd to pass at laest 5 ohtres - trehe is no dicert tiekct to a real bruaercaat - ever!
6. A ture buaearrcat have olny 2 imropnatt tihngs on his dsek. 1 are froms and the ohter is a smatp.
7. The hehgir the buaercarat in rnak the lses ccnahe of eevr bieng put throguh to them on the pohne.
8. A baerucaart taht tlaks to you on any sucejbt oehtr tahn waht you are tehre for is slitl on porbtaion.
9. A buaercarat taht lhguas wtih you, stetrad taht week or is a Tmep.
10. An uitlamte buaercarat is soemnoe you never wlil meet or saepk to, but will sgin all your lettres.
---
"Srtnage, taht he who levis by Sihfts, can sleodm sfiht hesmilf." B.F 1735
"Unisg pciloy and pordecrue to sotp tgnihs form gtenitg dnoe or to stop ppoele"
© Rkciy Suanreds dfetinioin of baeurcacary. 2007
No comments:
Post a Comment